Inappropriate Behavior - Page 2

freeman · 07-19-2010, 10:17 PM

I have never understood the whole defiant teenager thing. I understand the need to be your own person, push some boundaries and even rebel, but who gets joy out of making everyone else mad? I don't get it.

GrapeApe · 07-20-2010, 10:56 AM

I came back to this discussion. I cannot believe these kids were getting away with this. We were wild kids and I know it, but we didn't do things like this and get away with it. We were more of the type who went off and had a bon fire. As far as disciplining kids, I think our civil liberties have been compromised to the point that kids have no reason to care what their parents think. I had a granddaughter one day who I was going to spank-not beat-spank with an open hand. She looked at me and told me she would call child services on me. I told her to go ahead and she would get two spankings plus be grounded from everything electronic for a month. I told her there was a long time between the time she called them and the time they got to our house. She didn't call.

I don't believe in abusing kids, but I do believe in disciplining them. My parents tanned my hide quite a bit because I was a rebellious child. But I also knew they unconditionally loved me and wouldn't hurt me. I think we care too much what someone in an "agency" would think about disciplining our children. Just my opinion of course but I was raised this way and it made me a better person and one that could live in society without causing a problem like you described.

jenlee · 07-20-2010, 08:50 PM

I couldn't agree with you more! I would say the same thing if my child said they were gonna call on me. That is absurd and yes their is a huge variance between spanking and beating! I think we should go back to the discipline our parents gave..it seemed to work better than this 'time out' or what not nonsense.

Custer148 · 07-21-2010, 07:16 AM

I have to admit I was spanked as a child, and I also must admit I deserved every one of them. I am not in counseling saying that my problems have been caused by being spanked or that my mother is the reason I act out my aggressions. I think there is entirely too much blame placed on the discipline a person received as a child, and not enough placed on the lack of discipline received. I have noticed that the current parenting practice is to reason with the child and not teach them that their actions have consequences. I know that this would not have worked with me as a child, I was too hardheaded, but the swat or two on my rear got my attention.

Ashlar2006 · 07-21-2010, 08:03 AM

Agreed Custer . Timeouts and groundings were of no use to me and I was so stubborn that reasoning with me would be like trying to reason with a tree when I was young . What kept me in line was the fear of spankings . My parents did not beat , hit me in the face , twist my arm or pull my hair but they did tan my bottom . If I was about to do something stupid , I would think to myself "will this get me a spanking" and if the answer was yes then I refrained (well , most of the time) . I hate hearing adults today calling spankings barbaric , these are the same parents I see in public who's kids are acting like little idiots , while the parents are acting like everything is fine or just ignoring their antics and saying "kids will be kids" .

Another thing I have noticed , right here on my street , is kids do not have to do chores anymore or work period . I have neighbors with tweens and teenagers who pay to have their yardwork done while they kids are inside laying in front of a TV playing video games . Kids today are not raised with a strong work ethics like we were . I was raised on a farm and did farm work from the time I was old enough to hold a hoe and was mowing grass from the time I could look over the top of the lawn mower handle , before that I was using "hand clippers" to do the grass trimming around the yard , no weedeater for me ( well , weedeaters were unheard of then) . We knew what it was like to earn a buck when we were young , I and none of my friends did not get allowances , we worked for it . If I did nothing around the house , then Dad and Mom gave me no money for anything . Nothing was free , everything was earned . And this also goes a long way in how children act and/or conduct themselves . Children have a false sense of entitlement now .

Tensolator · 07-21-2010, 07:21 PM

My dad was a neighborhood legend for his abiliity to spank.

Junior · 07-21-2010, 09:49 PM

LOL @ Tensolater! Yeah, my dad did alright at the spankings too. But you know what was worse, he talked to me and told me how disappointed he was in me for doing whatever it was I had done wrong. THEN he spanked me. I don't think that child protective services and the regulation of what people could do to discipline their kids has helped our society any at all. As far as the sense of entitlement-I agree there too. I don't think I ever got anything in my life without working for it. I've seen kids ready to "do" or "take" things that are out of their reach for one reason or another and it has ruined our youth. A lot more work and a lot more discipline are great for raising kids.

I was a Marine and when I was a Marine we towed the mark. I think even the military has gone soft on the kids that are going in there now. I see a lot of young men who think it's a lark when they go in. It gives them unreal expectations for when they are in active duty in war time. The enemy is not going to ask them to wait a bit before they shoot them because their iPod isn't working. I would rather be taught how to handle myself on the battlefield and know how to keep myself from getting killed.

Custer148 · 07-22-2010, 07:32 AM

The "I'm disappointed in you" speech from dad was worse than any spanking, that was one thing I never wanted to do, disappoint my dad. I have used the same speech on my kids and I think it has changed their minds a couple of times. It has made them aware that their parents notice things and want them to be the best that they can be.

Ashlar2006 · 07-22-2010, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junior

LOL @ Tensolater! Yeah, my dad did alright at the spankings too. But you know what was worse, he talked to me and told me how disappointed he was in me for doing whatever it was I had done wrong. THEN he spanked me. I don't think that child protective services and the regulation of what people could do to discipline their kids has helped our society any at all. As far as the sense of entitlement-I agree there too. I don't think I ever got anything in my life without working for it. I've seen kids ready to "do" or "take" things that are out of their reach for one reason or another and it has ruined our youth. A lot more work and a lot more discipline are great for raising kids.

I was a Marine and when I was a Marine we towed the mark. I think even the military has gone soft on the kids that are going in there now. I see a lot of young men who think it's a lark when they go in. It gives them unreal expectations for when they are in active duty in war time. The enemy is not going to ask them to wait a bit before they shoot them because their iPod isn't working. I would rather be taught how to handle myself on the battlefield and know how to keep myself from getting killed.

I too was a Marine and you can blame the Mothers of Amerca for our beloved Marine Corps going soft . Little Johnny would write home to Mommy to tell her that the DIs' yelled at him and called him names or boot camp is too hard , then Mommy would write their Congressman to complain , and as the old saying goes , crap rolls down hill . So to keep politicians off their backs the Marine Corps made changes on how they train their recruits . I was taken to the whiskey locker a couple of times and when I came out , I never screwed up again . It's hard to believe how a couple of punches to the gut will straighten you right out .

jenlee · 07-25-2010, 10:39 PM

So sad today. Too funny though because my son's name is Johnny! So you made me laugh. We give the " I am dissappointed speech" too and it works well. I also got it from my dad one time and never again needed it. He never spanked us that I recall, but he claims he did when we were real little and it stuck so he didn't have to when we got older.

07-21-2010, 08:03 AM	#15
Ashlar2006 Masonic Mafia Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Ky Posts: 4,163 Lodge: Blog Entries: 3	Agreed Custer . Timeouts and groundings were of no use to me and I was so stubborn that reasoning with me would be like trying to reason with a tree when I was young . What kept me in line was the fear of spankings . My parents did not beat , hit me in the face , twist my arm or pull my hair but they did tan my bottom . If I was about to do something stupid , I would think to myself "will this get me a spanking" and if the answer was yes then I refrained (well , most of the time) . I hate hearing adults today calling spankings barbaric , these are the same parents I see in public who's kids are acting like little idiots , while the parents are acting like everything is fine or just ignoring their antics and saying "kids will be kids" . Another thing I have noticed , right here on my street , is kids do not have to do chores anymore or work period . I have neighbors with tweens and teenagers who pay to have their yardwork done while they kids are inside laying in front of a TV playing video games . Kids today are not raised with a strong work ethics like we were . I was raised on a farm and did farm work from the time I was old enough to hold a hoe and was mowing grass from the time I could look over the top of the lawn mower handle , before that I was using "hand clippers" to do the grass trimming around the yard , no weedeater for me ( well , weedeaters were unheard of then) . We knew what it was like to earn a buck when we were young , I and none of my friends did not get allowances , we worked for it . If I did nothing around the house , then Dad and Mom gave me no money for anything . Nothing was free , everything was earned . And this also goes a long way in how children act and/or conduct themselves . Children have a false sense of entitlement now . __________________ It is such a beautiful day , now watch some idiot screw it up !!! Last edited by Ashlar2006; 07-21-2010 at 08:16 AM..

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07-19-2010, 10:17 PM	#11
freeman Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 25 Lodge:	I have never understood the whole defiant teenager thing. I understand the need to be your own person, push some boundaries and even rebel, but who gets joy out of making everyone else mad? I don't get it.

07-20-2010, 10:56 AM	#12
GrapeApe Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 20 Lodge:	I came back to this discussion. I cannot believe these kids were getting away with this. We were wild kids and I know it, but we didn't do things like this and get away with it. We were more of the type who went off and had a bon fire. As far as disciplining kids, I think our civil liberties have been compromised to the point that kids have no reason to care what their parents think. I had a granddaughter one day who I was going to spank-not beat-spank with an open hand. She looked at me and told me she would call child services on me. I told her to go ahead and she would get two spankings plus be grounded from everything electronic for a month. I told her there was a long time between the time she called them and the time they got to our house. She didn't call. I don't believe in abusing kids, but I do believe in disciplining them. My parents tanned my hide quite a bit because I was a rebellious child. But I also knew they unconditionally loved me and wouldn't hurt me. I think we care too much what someone in an "agency" would think about disciplining our children. Just my opinion of course but I was raised this way and it made me a better person and one that could live in society without causing a problem like you described.

07-20-2010, 08:50 PM	#13
jenlee Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Michigan Posts: 27 Lodge:	I couldn't agree with you more! I would say the same thing if my child said they were gonna call on me. That is absurd and yes their is a huge variance between spanking and beating! I think we should go back to the discipline our parents gave..it seemed to work better than this 'time out' or what not nonsense.

07-21-2010, 07:16 AM	#14
Custer148 Lodge Secretary Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Broken Bow, NE Posts: 630 Lodge: Custer Lodge #148	I have to admit I was spanked as a child, and I also must admit I deserved every one of them. I am not in counseling saying that my problems have been caused by being spanked or that my mother is the reason I act out my aggressions. I think there is entirely too much blame placed on the discipline a person received as a child, and not enough placed on the lack of discipline received. I have noticed that the current parenting practice is to reason with the child and not teach them that their actions have consequences. I know that this would not have worked with me as a child, I was too hardheaded, but the swat or two on my rear got my attention.

07-21-2010, 07:21 PM	#16
Tensolator Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: mountain west Posts: 28 Lodge: Penrhyn Goldhill 32	My dad was a neighborhood legend for his abiliity to spank.

07-21-2010, 09:49 PM	#17
Junior Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 5 Lodge:	LOL @ Tensolater! Yeah, my dad did alright at the spankings too. But you know what was worse, he talked to me and told me how disappointed he was in me for doing whatever it was I had done wrong. THEN he spanked me. I don't think that child protective services and the regulation of what people could do to discipline their kids has helped our society any at all. As far as the sense of entitlement-I agree there too. I don't think I ever got anything in my life without working for it. I've seen kids ready to "do" or "take" things that are out of their reach for one reason or another and it has ruined our youth. A lot more work and a lot more discipline are great for raising kids. I was a Marine and when I was a Marine we towed the mark. I think even the military has gone soft on the kids that are going in there now. I see a lot of young men who think it's a lark when they go in. It gives them unreal expectations for when they are in active duty in war time. The enemy is not going to ask them to wait a bit before they shoot them because their iPod isn't working. I would rather be taught how to handle myself on the battlefield and know how to keep myself from getting killed.

07-22-2010, 07:32 AM	#18
Custer148 Lodge Secretary Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Broken Bow, NE Posts: 630 Lodge: Custer Lodge #148	The "I'm disappointed in you" speech from dad was worse than any spanking, that was one thing I never wanted to do, disappoint my dad. I have used the same speech on my kids and I think it has changed their minds a couple of times. It has made them aware that their parents notice things and want them to be the best that they can be.

07-25-2010, 10:39 PM	#20
jenlee Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Michigan Posts: 27 Lodge:	So sad today. Too funny though because my son's name is Johnny! So you made me laugh. We give the " I am dissappointed speech" too and it works well. I also got it from my dad one time and never again needed it. He never spanked us that I recall, but he claims he did when we were real little and it stuck so he didn't have to when we got older.