[Brenda_Lee]

My mom's health has been deteriorating. I don't think she should be living alone any longer. She says she is not ready to go to a nursing home and actually neither do I. I would like for her to move in with our family but my husband is not very supportive. I don't understand why since he has always gotten along with my mom. I am torn. Should I insist she moves with us?

[Custer148]

Have you checked into some sort of home health care? I know of some people who had someone come into the home and help take care of them for an extended period of time. It would almost be like having a room mate but you pay them. I think there is 24 hour care available. Good Luck.

[Ashlar2006]

That's a tough call , I would have a serious talk with him , but I am sure you already have though . I honestly do not know what advice to give , this is tricky .

[Brenda_Lee]

Funds are kind of limited which means that hiring someone all day is not possible. She doesn't qualify unless she is completely destituted for some of the government programs. I have been looking into alternatives. I am still hoping that my husband will come around. I am even thinking of using the sunroom as a room for her. I just need to keep praying and hoping.

[Jason]

First of all, if it is ok with you, I will add her to my prayers. Second, I can sort of relate. In the past few years my own mother has had cancer three times. Then one doctor told her she was imagining her current problems, the other was saying she has lupus and it was attacking her thyroids. Another cancer doctor told her she does not have lupus, but wants to see her anyway. When asked why, he pretty much eluded to the insurance money. She finally got to see a thyroid specialist that was recommended, after a few months thanks to a cancellation. He said it was not lupus, but a thyroid problem, she has permanent damage now, but it is treatable. She still is not up to 100%, maybe 75%. So I can relate on the sick mother issue. Thankfully I still have my father though.

Now as far as the husband goes. How well do the two get along? Do you have room for her? He could be looking at it as a change. He might have to be on his best behavior full time now, is his thinking. He might be afraid of the change itself. Do you have young children? Maybe you can sort of "sell" him on the idea of her being a full time nanny sort of speaking. Someone to help with the children. But like Ashlar has said, you need to have a talk with him, to hopefully find out what the cause of his hesitation is.

[sukie]

Can I just tell you that my mother in law was totally opposed to the idea of going into any kind of home but when it came to it, our house was too small to accommodate her as was her daughter's so she did go into a residential home. Well, she loved it from the day she moved in! She made so many friends there and the place was huge within beautiful grounds. They had a hairdresser come and do all the ladies' hair each week, they had wine tastings, demonstrations and talks, were taken out on day trips and generally waited on like in a really good hotel. I wouldn't mind living there myself!

[Ashlar2006]

My wife's aunt was the same way . She was dead set against moving into a home , but there was no where else for her to go so she had no choice , once she got there she loved it . This place did not have just rooms but small apartments also and they had so many activities that it kept her busier than she did at her house .

[johnny]

My aunt lives in a home such as you described. She does love her independence that having 'her own place' gives her, but the help is still their around the clock and we don't worry about her as much as we would if she was at home by herself.