On the heels of my "Keeping secrets" thread I have another along the same lines . On another forum I was reading a thread started by a wife who was opposed to her husband becoming a Freemason because we must remove our wedding bands prior to Initiation . She stated that it was a symbol of being bound to one another and she did not want him to remove his wedding band . To me , I do not need a mere trinket such as a wedding band to prove my wife loves me or I her . We both go without our wedding bands all the time because we trust and love each other and we do not need a ring to symbolize that . As a matter of fact I very seldom put my ring on , I did wear my 14th degree ring in it's place for a while but that too has beeen relegated to my wallet and watch caddy . Is a wedding ring that important that one MUST NEVER remove it ? It is not like I lose my affections for my wife when I take it off as if it has some magical power that binds me to her . Nor am I so insecure that I expect my wife to wear her's at all times to prove she is spoken for . So , what is everyone's thoughts on this ?
I go without mine for days at a time sometimes. Usually when I'm working in the yard I will take it off, or if I go out on the kayak. I do not wish to ruin it, and the wife understands. She takes hers off sometimes. I have no problems with that either. In fact when she worked at McDonalds I told her to take it off as she was damaging the ring.
As a wife, I see both sides of the coin. My husband and I do not wear ours that often either. I just don't like rings (yes, I am a woman . Our love for each other can be seen in our eyes and in our actions when we are together or apart. For some the ring is a security blanket. If women only knew, most women on the prowl look for married man wearing their wedding ring.
I work with my hands for a living, (I mechanic, weld, etc.). I don't wear my wedding band at all during the work week. I told my wife before we got married that I would not wear my wedding band during the week, she understood and doesn't have a problem with it. If my wife and I go someplace together I will put it on. My wife wears hers most of the time but at work there are times she does take it off to keep it protected. We know we love each other and it shows in both our actions.
Brenda_Lee , being a woman and a wife I would love to hear your thoughts on the "Secrets" thread ..... http://www.freemasonhall.com/community/t1482/ .
I don't take mine off unless I am doing yard work or working on one of our vehicles. My wife understands that sometimes I don't wear it and she is ok with that. She takes hers off when she takes the kids to the pool or during playtime with the baby, becuase she doesn't want to scratch him with it. We are secure enough in our marriage that we are fine with not wearing it. When we go out though we both wear them and I still catch her looking at her's when the sun hits it just right which makes me feel good as I picked one she loves.
sounds like a rather self concious woman. Or lack of confidencce, etc. If she is that adament about the ring put tape around it and hide it.
To me its a choice you can make, you can wear it or can not wear it. I have no issues if someone takes it off for a good reason (working with tools for example). I am not going to be sad by the fact that at some times its really not needed, its a symbol that does not mean it defines the love shared.
Maybe I missed it but how did she know you had to take your ring off during your initiation? I wear my 14th degree ring with my wedding ring. My Grandfather called his 14th degree ring (the one I'm wearing now) his wedding band. I could not wait to go through Scottish Rite so I could wear it. I also have his Masonic Ring which he got in 1949.
Ashlar may have to ask that very question on the other forum. But I bet the guy who's wife had an issue with it probably forgot to put his ring back on after the initiation.
Here's another county heard from: Brethren, I know we are all hurting for membership, BUT: Freemasonry is NOT FOR EVERY MAN. Only those who are willing and able to comply with our ancient and honorable customs are eligible to join us. Now ... if a man's hand has grown to the point in which he can no longer remove a ring, then in every jurisdiction in which I've belonged, we generally take and adhesive bandage and cover it. AND I've seen the same done when a man simply refuses to remove his ring for whatever reason. But ask yourself this question: If a candidate for our mysteries refuses to comply with our ancient and honorable customs, shouldn't we refuse him entry into our fraternity?
This is true , but not the point of the thread . I am asking if a simple wedding band is proof of a married couples love ? If it is so important that it should never be removed ? My grandparents did not have wedding bands most of their married life because they could not afford them when they got married . But their love was true and they did not need a crutch to prove it .
My wife removes her wedding band and engagement ring every time she takes a shower, every time she does the dishes and often times she has to at work as well (she's a nurse). I take my wedding band off frequently for work, whenever I am doing something mechanical, and yes, I do the dishes too and place my ring on the counter until I'm done. My wife and I are very much in love, and while our rings are tangible outward signs that we are married, removing the rings has no effect whatsoever on our love our our commitment to each other. The rings are not proof of a couples love for one another. That proof can be found in the couples actions towards one another.
Ashlar, sorry I missed the point of the thread. Every couple is going to be somewhat different, so there's no way to definitively answer your question. To some, the symbolism of the ring is going to be extremely powerful. To others, it will be a mere convention. So, for me, the ring is not proof of my love for my wife. But to others it may be.
Well...I'm an industrial mechanic/machinist. I don't wear rings...PERIOD. MY ex was somewhat troubled buy this until I asked her would she prefer me to come home without my ring finger. I bought a gold chain and wore my wedding band around my neck until I sold it for scrap gold last year. I don't need a ring to remind me I am a married man....if I marry again.
We have actually had new candidates that could not get their wedding band off, so we keep a roll of masking tape in our preparation room just for these situations, we just put a little tape around it. We also had a candidate that was a young member of the military who had his nipple pierced after he came back from overseas as part of some sort of "war buddy" bonding experience, well he had left it in so long that on the night of his initiation he could not get it out, so we now also keep a pair of side cutting pliers in the prep. room as well.
I work with my hands (I am a studio potter) so I usually don't wear my wedding band. It is also Jade (we had a Buddhist wedding.) So is more fragile than a metal band. I wear it on special occasions or when I travel.
