Thoughts on this.......

R

removed12612

Guest
How would you handle a situation if you had someone in your Lodge that you really didnt like....during Lodge everything was fine....but out on the street, you really didnt want to have anything to do with that person for whatever reason....people sometimes just dont get along. The guy may be a very good mason......do you think you should be friends out side of the Lodge? I know the OBs and everything.....

I am not in nor do I know anyone in this situation, I am just curious as to what peoples thoughts are
 
Winter

Winter

I've been here before
I've been a Mason for a long time. Sometimes you come across a Brother that, no matter how hard you try, you just can't find it in you to really like. Not the way we are supposed to be close like family, anyway. It is dificult because new Brothers will catch onto that disharmony in the Lodge and it sends mixed signals. Especially if, G-d forbid, that a Brother is talking down about another Brother. That should be squashed ruthlesly wherever it is found.
 
Ashlar2006

Ashlar2006

Masonic Mafia
I know some have this "feel good , we are all the best of friends because we are all Brothers " mind set , but that is not completely true . There are a few brothers that I will avoid in public . I would help them if they are in need , but I do not want to socialize with them in public .
 
R

removed12612

Guest
I agree 100% with ya..... but we are human and human nature is hard to over come. Do you think it would be ok to let the person know that while you do consider him a Brother, you really dont want to be friends..... I know in families, family members dont get along...you love them but you relly dont want to hang out with them...
 
Duncan1574

Duncan1574

Lodge Chaplain & arms dealer
Matthew 5:21-24 (NKJ)
21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

I have studied and discussed this subject many times, my counsel is that this states that you are to be at peace with your brother (reconciled), it does not say that the brother has to be at peace with you as that is their part of the work in the relationship.

It is impossible to 'like' everyone, even if they are Brothers, we are human, some people are not meant to be companions though they may travel the same roads together.

In my experience some people just 'smell' wrong, I just don't like them, the 'vibe' is just not there.
 
Winter

Winter

I've been here before
Agreed, Family squables are the worst! lol

I don't know that I would tell them, I'd just avoid them. If you said something they may not think to come to you in a time of need. I'd still want to be there if something happened.
 
R

removed12612

Guest
GREAT point Winter... I didnt think about that.... I wouldnt want anyone to think I wouldnt help....I guess you can just be cordial and keep it that way...you dont have to invite them over to hang out....
 
Custer148

Custer148

Masonic Traveler
I think we should definitely be civil to that person, there is nothing in our obligation that states how much socializing we need to do with our brothers. It is not necessary that we invite a brother into our homes for dinner or out for drinks, but we really need to treat people as we we want to be treated. Maybe the brother has never learned how to socialize with people. Maybe they have had bad friendship with a different brother and are taking it out on others. I guess unless we are actually in the situation you describe we will never know how we would react with that person.
 
Ashlar2006

Ashlar2006

Masonic Mafia
This is my problem Fireman , a few brothers and I do not click , we are like oil and water , polar opposites . We do not argue or cause trouble , but we have came to the same conclusion that it is better to just avoid one another so as not to make waves .
 
FamilyMan

FamilyMan

Fidelis ad Mortem
I don't think there is a need to say anything to a brother you don't want to "hang out" with outside of the lodge. I don't know, is there anyone here who can say that he's had, individually, each and every single member of his lodge over to his house or some other social activity? Unless you've had every single other brother in your lodge over for dinner except for Brother So-and-So, I don't think there's a need to draw attention to the situation. If I'm not making sense, please blame my wife, she passed me a cup of decaf this morning.
 
R

removed12612

Guest
Ashlar.... I can understand that...it is best to not make waves.

Custer...you are right, we can say we will do this or that but until we walk down that road, we dont know what we will do.

Which brings up another question.... Do you think part of what is taught in FM helps develop social skills.....
 
4

486

Guest
It's just one of the ways FM makes good men better. You don't like him, but respect that he has taken the same OB. You're cordial always, more social at lodge as it pertains to the work at hand, but never close.

There are others, on a daily basis, to whom we owe no obligation, but with whom we still need to maintain peace and harmony (for a better work environment, school function, or Thanksgiving dinner). It's good practice.
 
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