If someone can help...

Slifer

borderline
Hello!
I'm looking for a moral help, I don't know if i'm able to post this here or not, my problem is about Truth, I can't accept what's told to, don't see it logical or rightful ... I can't be an atheist... Neither a religious... Just a gnostic always want to question more and more, I just can't stop asking...

ANYWAY!

If someone knows a good book, inspiring one, masonic also! Which I'll find within: how to act with others, how to behave, what i shouldn't do... Because I'm a borderline, my quest sometimes drives me crazy, and I do a lot of things I regret... But still, always doubt. I don't really see a difference between good and bad... They're just the same parts of the same Wheel of Fortune...

If you can request me a rightful psychological book, I'd seriously be thankful, anyway, thanks for reading. And over thank you if you're willing to answer :)

Best regards! Fraternally.
 

Windrider

Plus-sized tuxedo model
When we meet, we always have a "Volume of Sacred Law" (VSL) on the altar in the center of our lodge room. The actual book is the scripture that most of the members follow. In my lodge that's the Bible. In others it is the Qua'ran or Tanakh. This is where we find our moral law. Based on what you have shared, you would like to be a good person but need some help with it. I don't think a book would give you what you need. Perhaps a talk with your doctor or a religious leader?
 

Slifer

borderline
Perhaps a talk with your doctor or a religious leader?
That's the problem with me! :(
I don't follow any religion, so I can't trust any religious leader ... They can't convince me.
As for a doctor, yeah I saw a psychiatrist, for my borderline, I really hurt myself, (I can't differ between black and white, good and bad) but I live in a muslim country, and people here are so dogmatic and not tolerants... Dangerous. I can't say that I don't believe like them...
I though about suicide a year ago, no belief or ideology that can convince me of a good reason to live for... Either Rosicrucianism... I became an atheist, nihilist who just seek death. And then, I read an article about the Kadosh Knight... On a french masonic blog, belonging to a french lodge. Then, I regained some faith, in order to reach the Truth I'm looking for, I've to live... But now I'm living like an insane... It's a little hard... Thanks for reading Windrider! ^_^
 

Athena

Sanctified
Hello I may be of assistance. I am not a mason but I have faintly similar experiences other then nihilism however I was an athiest in middle school. It must be rough living in a country of such standards for females. Listen I do not extend my hand to push my religion on you but I have knowledge in the areas you are trying to understand. My hand is conditional though, keep it platonic that is all I ask.
 
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