Need help understanding inner and outer reality details as easy as possible

[tom760]

I need more information about how life works. Honestly not sure where to turn. I went on a Christian forum the other night for guidance, but was basically only given scripture. While I imagine it true, it doesn't provide the details I need to know. I try to be an ethical person, but it's obvious I don't understand reality and I stress/worry a lot daily. Even to the point of questioning if possibly the best/right thing might be for me to kill myself (not sure how to interpret supernatural seeming twitches on my wrist where cut myself in past as I write this).

If someone who reads this is very knowledgeable about the nature of reality and would rather talk offline, just send me a private message and let me know your preference for way to communicate.

 

[tom760]

Just had an example topic come to mind I wonder a lot about:

Pros/Cons of crumbling the walls of my reality?

Seems like it would be easy to do, but at the same time (especially given that I'm constantly tired) would take a good bit of work. In addition I have other financial obligations I'm behind on and which require my time to deal with.

I could imagine it possible that after crumbling the walls of my reality I could wind up in a place that is like heaven to me or one that's like hell. Even if truth is somewhere in between, I could worry about this place I left maybe having been more ideal for me given my passion for technology and engineering/designing/creating. If I stay in this style reality though, the unknown consequences are scary, especially due to additional details I likely shouldn't talk about publicly.

 

[Winter]

Tom760,

This forum is for discussing Freemasonry. From your posts you have some issue that I would highly recommend you seek immediate assistance for from a licensed professional.

 

[Duncan1574]

Tom760,

This forum is for discussing Freemasonry. From your posts you have some issue that I would highly recommend you seek immediate assistance for from a licensed professional.

I agree you should seek some level of help, I would suggest a local 'Cope' line to start.

 

[tom760]

The question isn't about FreeMasonry, but I just don't know where to turn. I'm limited to less than $5 and am not in a position to hire a therapist. I highly question how well a local cope line would do for my situation. I'm not even clear on how to view Freemasonry, but just figured it easy to imagine some members (no idea how many/%) likely understand the hidden things in life which confuse me and could possibly help.

A huge topic is what are the details of the nature I feel when connecting inside with a person I'm looking at a photo of? Is it okay to connect like that to fantasize about sexual things if done in really sweet manner (though out of balance due to my inability to visualize)? If a person is married is the case different? What does it mean if I feel quite significant attraction expressed from the other end? How does that relate to if I met the person in my outer reality? What are the consequences (positive or negative) of how those connections transpire? What to think about specific instances of that going on for years while having strong desire/hope for coming together and falling in love? If the reality on the other side is more real than this one, is the nature even such that it's possible to have an exclusive relationship or love story there?

In that area beyond my situation, I still worry a lot. It brings to mind the concept of a photo maybe doing something like capture a persons soul. I don't understand the nature and worry, especially in the case of with attractive models and celebrities due to how many people likely view + think about them. In the past I remember seeing a Playboy website that was dedicated to celebrity sex scenes and the primary opening photo being of a movie called "Battle In Heaven". I'm now thinking it quite likely related to this dynamic. Probably my biggest passion in life is girls/women and the last thing I want to due is cause anything negative for them. Ideally I would like to help them a lot, but I don't know what to do because I don't know what's real and matters.

 

[Gary2112]

OK.... This has absolutely nothing to do with Freemasonry, let alone esoterics. I find it odd that you claim to have less than $5, but yet you can afford to be on the internet. As suggested before, we recommend that you call a help line and get assistance. A therapist can be arranged to help you for little or no cost.

The subject matter in your last post borders on violating our forum rules. As a Moderator, I'm asking you to go elsewhere to discuss your issues regarding this matter. I am Issuing you a warning and locking this thread, as nothing good will come from it.