Privacy and family

[asgard]

Hello everyone! This is my first post here, and I'm glad to be here.
I've been more or less interested in Freemasonry since high school, and that's nearly thirty years now. Over the years, I've read quite a bit of material on the topic, both positive and Anti, including John J. Robinson's Born in Blood, The Hiram Key, among many others including the negative The Brotherhood by Stephen Knight, back in the 80s. From time to time I have considered petitioning. However, what has really prevented me from doing so, is my desire not to offend my parents. They have strong Evangelical Christian beliefs, and literally consider Masonry to be anti-Christian, or sadly, even Luciferian. Interestingly, these misled beliefs are what led me to be curious about the organization in the first place back as a teenager; in other words to find out for myself. What I found so perplexing, is that so many friends of the family, including my uncle, are Masons, and all good men, and upstanding in the community for the most part. Yet, my parents have apparently made up their mind and aren't open to learning. That's certainly a pity, as the rituals, symbols, dramatics and performance, and the philosophy and spiritualism of it all would be right up my alley I'm almost certain.
Therefore, my question is: If I were to petition, and eventually become a Mason, would I be able to keep my membership private, or secret (no pun intended) from my family? I am not currently married, so parents may feasibly collect my mail when out of town, and consequently find Lodge mail. Furthermore, we live rather close to each other in a large city with dozens of lodges if not more, so at least in that regard there would be no grapevine.

 

[Ashlar2006]

I'm am sorry about how your parents feel about Freemasonry . I have found those who oppose Freemasonry on a religious basis are the ones who's minds can not be changed by the facts/truth . As a matter of fact I have found most fundies are set in their ways and are not willing to learn and I find that very sad that some allow their religious beliefs to blind them to the truth and/or refuse to be open to learn about whatever it is they oppose . The most intolerant people I have ever met were hardcore fundamentalist religious types .

As for keeping your membership in the Fraternity quiet , I see nothing wrong with it . I know of two Masons , who are friends of mine , whom do not advertise it because of the same situation you are in .When it comes to our membership in the Fraternity , we can be as open as we want to be , or we can play it close to our vest and keep it private . I find that it is nobody's business what I do , including my family (with the exception of the wife) . As for your mail , instead of having them picking up your mail , just stop it at the Post Office or have a neighbor or friend you trust pick it up instead .

 

[asgard]

Thanks Ashlar521. It's reassuring to hear that it can be kept private, although I don't doubt that eventually they'll find out. Hopefully, by then they will see that it would have had a positive effect on me, and their fears were unfounded.
Now I'm looking into various lodges and their websites. I also took a guided tour of NY Grand Lodge recently. What magnificent rooms they have.

By the way I like your EGA avatar. I was with 3/8, 1/2, and 2/2 from 1990-1994, as an 0351. Oo-rah!

 

[Ashlar2006]

Semper Fi , Bro ! 88' to 92' field artillery cannon crewman with Hotel Battery 3/12 which was absorbed by the 10th Marines after the Gulf War to become Kilo Battery 3/10 here .

My family , be it my wife , parents and others have nothing against Freemasonry . But my nephew thought it was silly and something for old men until he seen the change that came over me after I was a Master Mason for a while . I used to have a very short fuse and could lose my temper at a drop of a dime but I am am now calmer and more tolerant of others , I am happier and more patient . The change came over me slowly as I went through the degrees and studied more and more about Freemasonry . He has since changed his mind about Freemasonry and takes it more seriously . I am waiting for him to one day ask me for a petition (fingers crossed) .

I do not know if your parents will change their minds because of their religious views on Freemasonry . Those who oppose Freemasonry on these grounds are the hardest to change their views . But I look at it like this , we must live our own lives , seek the truth on our own , do what we think is right and follow our own hearts and not worry about what others think .

 

[jason]

I've known a few members of our Lodge who had dealings with a local church. This was before I joined. One day someone sat down with the Priest at the church. And just talked. Our member listened to the complaints. Then asked the priest if he has heard of the Shriners. The priest did, and thought they were great men and did great work. He then explained how that the Shriners were Masons. And the priest was finally open to learning about Masons.

I'm not saying this will work for your case. A lot of people do not realize all the charity work that gets done by Masons. Sadly I still have a problem with people in my wife's family. I do not hide my membership, but I do not flaunt it in front of them either. I try to respect their opinion, and if they were to come with an open mind to discuss it I would. The only thing you could do is just be a just and upright man. Your actions will speak louder then words.

 

[Gary]

I'm sort of in the same boat with my parents. They are against Freemasonry even though we had a close family friend who was a Mason. I say "was" because he passed away some time ago.

One would think that due to his exemplary example he would have changed their view. sadly, they buy into all of that conspiracy Bravo Sierra, and are afraid of all of our "secrets".

I choose to keep my membership private from them, simply because I don't wan't to have to justify why as a grown adult I chose the path that I did.

I can tell you that although I have only been a Mason for a short period of time, I have reaped many benefits and am definitely a better person for having joined this great fraternity.

That being said, I am proud to be a Freemason and freely discuss my membership with anyone else that asks (within the bounds of my obligation of course).

 

[asgard]

That's what I don't understand either; that the family knows several Masons who are neighbors, in the church, and even my uncle, but still these examples of upstanding men do not change their opinion. Religious people are hard to dissuade as they've made up their minds no matter what anyone says. But again, it is reassuring to hear that I can keep membership my own business. I'd probably have to be careful with storing aprons, having rings and car decals, and Grand Lodge magazine/newsletter. But I'll worry about that when the time comes.

 

[jason]

I'm not sure how it works in NY. But here I was given a Family Bible and an Apron. The Apron came in a tube. Except for taking it out once to look at it, it has sat in that tube ever since in the back of the closet. My wife and family know that it is my request to be buried in the apron when retire from work and go to refreshment.

With the exception of that, the only way I would be found out if I choose not to purchase any rings, decals or such, would be the trestleboard that gets sent to my house and I believe the quarterly Grand Lodge magazine. You may be able to talk to your Lodge about opting out of them.

 

[Gary]

Well Asgard, I say stick to your guns and be an individual. That's what I'm doing.

I plan on getting a ring once I become a Master Mason. While I won't rub my parents nose in the fact that I'm a Mason, I certainly won't hide the fact either. The rest of my family and friends support my path in Freemasonry, so it matters not to me.

Besides...YOUR mail is NONE of anyone's bees wax....

 

[asgard]

Thanks Jason and GaryE. Wow, the apron came in a tube? I figure I'll find out later, but I am curious as to what apron is then used in lodge meetings for one's Masonic career? Are the aprons and regalia then left at the Temple or Hall or Club?
As far as the mail; I can certainly arrange something, as far as Empire State Mason journal is concerned, which I think is a quarterly anyway, to be hidden (or not shown) from the folks. And, if or when it comes to that, then they will find out one way or another, and I'll walk upright as Jason said. Nothing to be ashamed of; and I'm very glad to have found Freemason Hall for this reason. My confidence is certainly building in terms of petitioning.

My next question is:
I've looked at NY GL website, and at the lodge locator which doesn't work. I get an Error 404 message always. I have googled lodges and found a couple of interesting ones, but how can I find an appropriate lodge for me to petition? My Masonic uncle lives abroad, so he can't really help me in that regard, and the Masons that I knew from years ago, have all retired and left NYC, for Florida as I noticed some guys here are from.

 

[Gary]

The tubes are a storage method to keep the apron "tidy". Since Lambskin yellows with age, the tubes are used to try to prevent this. The rest of the questions regarding the apron I'll leave alone for the moment.

If the Grand Lodge of NY has an issue with their website, you could always call or write them. Tell them your location and ask about lodges in your area. They will point you in the right direction.

Have you tried Googling your town or city and "Masonic Lodge"? That's how I'd go about it...

Once you find a Lodge in your area, call the secretary or visit their lodge website. Let them know you are interested. They will arrange to meet with you, etc.

 

[Ashlar2006]

You may check to see if you may opt out of getting your Grand Lodge's news letter to be mailed to you and read it on line as we can here in Ky . They may have that option they may not . Our Grand Lodge is trying to save money and they have given us a choice , I have chosen to read mine on line .

Many take their Aprons out of the tubes and store them in the bottom of a drawer , under some clothes , so they will lay flat on their coffin or their bodies without curling up .

 

[asgard]

Hey Ashlar521! Semper Fi Devil Dog!
Thank you for the Masonic information. I am now definitely searching for a good Lodge, and whatever my parents think, is fine. They'll find out one day ayway, and besides, my uncle who is Scottish Rite 18 can probably help.

 

[Ashlar2006]

Semper Fi , Jarhead !

You are more than welcome . Shop around and try to find a lodge that will be a good fit for you . If you can find the times and days of the week the lodge(s) in your area meet , go meet up with them before they head upstairs for their meeting . Talk to them , get to know them and allow them to get to know you in turn . Most all lodges will (and should) be more than happy to welcome you to set down and break bread with them and answer any and all your questions you may have .

I say "find a lodge that is a good fit for you " because not all lodges are the same . Take my lodge , it is filled with farmers/country boys , another lodge I attend regularly is in the city and they are a little more up tight (they are great guys though) . Each lodge has it's own flavor so take your time .

 

[asgard]

Oorah Teuffel Hund.
Yes, I 've been told that the Lodges are very different. I actually googled John Wayne's Lodge in Arizona, Marion McDaniel Lodge, and I was surprised to see how relaxed they were then, and are now. No tuxedos, or suits. That's fine by me, although I have nothing against a formal lodge either.