27th Aquarius
New Member
Ok to make a long story short....
I've traveled a lot, all over Europe, Greece, Turkey and all over Egypt. When I came back from Egypt I started researching a lot and got interested in freemasons and ancient history.
One day after my step dad retired from being a police officer we were having dinner celebrating my grandmothers birthday. For some reason the topic of religion came up and he was testing me to see if I believed in God and thought I had a soul. My entire life I always thought no but about a year before this I found God. I said yes I believe and then we went back home which was brand new...they had just bought a new house. It was a pretty special day and everything was going good.
Then...my uncle came who is also my Godfather. I haven't seen or been close to him in a very long time, since I was a kid. I'm 28 now and it was the first time he saw me as a man. When he got there I pretty much froze up and didn't know what to say or what to do so I left without saying a word...he sat at the table I was at and then I just left. Biggest and only regret of my life. I mean I feel like I didn't graduate to manhood by facing this.
I felt like I walked out on God himself since it was the first time we were united under God as a family and I ruined it. After, I found out both my stepdad and uncle are masons and that was my invitation but obviously I'm not worthy.
Its been 15 months since then and I recently spoke to my grandmother about gathering everyone so I can speak with them. I tried to wait for it to happen naturally but I just can't wait anymore.
My question is am I still able to become a mason even after I did the worst thing ever? I mean I feel like I walked out on God himself and my family on what should have been a very beautiful day.
I want nothing more then to be a mason...for life! I'm really interested in it and feel like its perfect for me.
I've traveled a lot, all over Europe, Greece, Turkey and all over Egypt. When I came back from Egypt I started researching a lot and got interested in freemasons and ancient history.
One day after my step dad retired from being a police officer we were having dinner celebrating my grandmothers birthday. For some reason the topic of religion came up and he was testing me to see if I believed in God and thought I had a soul. My entire life I always thought no but about a year before this I found God. I said yes I believe and then we went back home which was brand new...they had just bought a new house. It was a pretty special day and everything was going good.
Then...my uncle came who is also my Godfather. I haven't seen or been close to him in a very long time, since I was a kid. I'm 28 now and it was the first time he saw me as a man. When he got there I pretty much froze up and didn't know what to say or what to do so I left without saying a word...he sat at the table I was at and then I just left. Biggest and only regret of my life. I mean I feel like I didn't graduate to manhood by facing this.
I felt like I walked out on God himself since it was the first time we were united under God as a family and I ruined it. After, I found out both my stepdad and uncle are masons and that was my invitation but obviously I'm not worthy.
Its been 15 months since then and I recently spoke to my grandmother about gathering everyone so I can speak with them. I tried to wait for it to happen naturally but I just can't wait anymore.
My question is am I still able to become a mason even after I did the worst thing ever? I mean I feel like I walked out on God himself and my family on what should have been a very beautiful day.
I want nothing more then to be a mason...for life! I'm really interested in it and feel like its perfect for me.