We had a great evening!
We started with a dinner of steak, chicken-wrapped-in-bacon-and-smothered-with-provolone, limas cooked with ham, corn on the cob, rice [this IS South Carolina!], rolls, and a huge piece of carrot cake. There was more, but that's what I had.
We went upstairs to the lodge room and settled in.
The "lodge members" trooped in marching in line with black suits, white shirts, black hats, white socks, and black shoes. They had accents of pink hat bands, pink cummerbunds (or at least a pink boa or ribbon around the middle), and most importantly-a pink handkerchief in the coat's left breast pocket. They wore pink aprons. As they marched about the room most greeted and shook hands with acquaintances. As they passed before the east, they saluted the Worshipful Master by fluttering their pink handkerchiefs rolling from top to bottom. They took their places, some in a little different places than I am accustomed to.
They opened with formalities, some familiar and some not, but all with much gavel banging, calling up officers to recite their duties in rhyme, and the 'door-keeper' banging on the door, longer and longer as the night went on, to gain the attention of the 'Tiller!'
The minutes were read, with much argument over what happened at the last meeting. A vote was held to approve the minutes, and though few hands raised in approval, the Worshipful Master declared them passed.
The Tiller banged on the door and announced the arrival of the Grand Master, to groans all around. He (she?) entered to much attention and ceremony, sat next to the Worshipful Master, and slept through most of the rest of the meeting.
The Junior Deacon, sitting in the SW corner, near the Secretary, spent most of his (her?) time listening to a small radio and reporting the Clemson-SC football game score to the Secretary.
Restitutions and Recitations was several lodge members standing up and reciting how they had honestly corrected being undercharged for retail items, sometimes for as much as a quarter.
One lodge member reported how his son had gotten into trouble and the lodge unanimously condemned his wife!
The door-keeper reported how he had entered into an agreement with another lodge member to only spent time with his wife, "Flo-Sugah," before 8pm.
A petition was read and there was much controversy over whether the candidate was worthy and and petition was tabled.
The Treasurer reported that the lodge had assets of almost $80,000.
A letter was read from the Eastern Star Chapter asking for funds to put in new carpeting and wallpaper; it was tabled among catcalls of how money hungry Eastern Star women were.
Many other motions were made, all were tabled.
The Junior Deacon asked to retire to the restroom, and left, bent over at the waist.
The Tiller soon after banged on the door, demanding the official plunger, and with proper ceremony, it was sent out.
When the Junior Deacon returned, a tall figure in a face veil and a bright red dress slipped in after him (her?).
The Worshipful Master soon castigated the members for allowing a woman in the lodge (Flo-Sugah) and appointed a committee to investigate. They returned and under extortion from the woman in red, recommended she petition the lodge. The petition was approved and she was allowed to remain.
Members needing degree work were announced and the lodge was set up for a degree. Ice blocks were brought in for the candidates seats, and a coffin. They were led in behind a goat on wheels pulled by the Junior Deacon, who had to stop repeatedly and clean up after the goat. The lights were extinguished and relit several times with much argument between the Worshipful Master and the Tiller. The candidates were given obligations that were imaginative and with sections successively longer than either could repeat. After their blindfolds were removed, they both despaired over standing in a coffin. They were bestowed with their pink aprons.
The Grand Master awoke and announced that the lodge needed more supervision and that he (she?) would be visiting every month. There were groans all around.
The lodge closed with the usual fanfare.
Whew!
S&F
