Kappavelli
New Member
If you have wronged a Mason can you ever make it right?
Making it right
- Thread starter Kappavelli
- Start date
Duncan1574
Lodge Chaplain & arms dealer
Your OB (all 3 in varying amounts) state that you should not but does not offer a solution if you do, however Matthew 5:23 and other religion's VSL would suggest that it is possible by asking forgiveness.
Kappavelli
New Member
Thanks for your reply! Is there anyway to relay to the person that you are willing to ask for forgiveness but not sure how to ensure it gets to the right person?
Bob Franks
Past District Deputy Grand Lecturer
Are you of the impression that Masonry is like a criminal organization or Cosa Nostra?
Masons are generally men of every (legal) walk of life, you'll find factory workers, peace officers, physicians, laborers, armed service members, small and large business owners.
You'll certainly find Masons who have short tempers (although we are advised to rein in our passions), and some who hold grudges forever, but you will also find those in the general population.
Your original post makes me a little uncomfortable, like someone would imagine we get together to track and share information on those who have maligned us.
I hope I am wrong.
Sincerely and fraternally
Masons are generally men of every (legal) walk of life, you'll find factory workers, peace officers, physicians, laborers, armed service members, small and large business owners.
You'll certainly find Masons who have short tempers (although we are advised to rein in our passions), and some who hold grudges forever, but you will also find those in the general population.
Your original post makes me a little uncomfortable, like someone would imagine we get together to track and share information on those who have maligned us.
I hope I am wrong.
Sincerely and fraternally
Kappavelli
New Member
My original question is based only on my humbled need to make things right! I can not speak on things I know nothing about so your hope is correct. I am only searching for guidance. I'm in a fraternity as well, what we do when lost is go to elders to find answers and solutions.
Duncan1574
Lodge Chaplain & arms dealer
If face to face is not possible then a hand written letter (pen, paper, envelope) and mailed to them or delivered by a messenger.
Kappavelli
New Member
Thank you both for your guidance!!!
CoachN
Builder Builder
Yes.
Yes.
Great question Brother.
Here are the steps:
1) Evaluate the situation. Write down A) who you harmed, B) how you harmed him, C) what exactly it is that made it "wrong" and D) why it was wrong. Yes, this might seem like overkill but the more you are specific, the better this will work for you and all involved. Why writing? These actions force you to commit, get clear and own what you are doing.
2) Ask yourself, "what must be done to make amends to God, yourself and the person involved?" Yes, all three are involved and the sooner you figure this out, the faster forgiveness will be possible. If there is no way to "undo" what was done, keep in mind that amends does include understanding what you did wrong and not repeating this wrong behavior into the future, and this includes not contributing to that same wrong when others are doing this wrong behavior.
3) Ask yourself what conditions must exist for you to make amends to all three who are involved without hesitation (God, yourself and the Brother you wronged.)
4) Ask yourself how you would go about executing those amends if all the conditions existed. Write out A) the plan, B) what you would do and C) what you would say. When this plan involves others who will assist you in this, write down A) their role, B) what they are to do and C) what they are say to support you in all this.
5) Review your plan and ask yourself, "would executing your plan make a bigger mess than the one you already made?" If your answer is "yes," rewrite your plan so that it won't make a bigger mess. If "no", go about creating the conditions that you have control over.
Keep in mind that forgiveness is a secondary goal in all this. Making amends is the primary goal.
The first person on the list of forgiving is you. Forgiving yourself requires a clean understanding of the offense that you are holding yourself to account. It will not be effective until you are clear about your actions and all the ramifications that are involved. The second person on the list is the person you are wanting forgiveness from other than yourself (this is usually the person you harmed and this also includes God.) You can ask for forgiveness but do not expect it. The act of asking for forgiveness is a gift to another person who may or may not want to accept it. Once you do ask, it is up to him to take your gift or reject it. You have no control over either of these actions whatsoever. Accept this lack of control before you make effort to ask. Your "forgiveness" goal is to offer it. It is up to him to accept is.
I hope this helps.
Coach N
Duncan1574
Lodge Chaplain & arms dealer
Well said Coach! Harder, for some, is not being forgiven. At that point we as the asking party need to accept that we have done all we can do and then move on. Accepting non/un-forgiveness is just tough.
H
Hank
Guest
An oul prayer never goes astray in a situation like this.
Kappavelli
New Member
@ Coach thank you for taking the time to respond with a thoughtful plan! I think like Duncan said the tough part will be the accepting the fact that it's not up to me that the person/s accept the forgiveness or not. But all I can do is be at peace with God and myself after I've done all that I can do. Again thanks for caring enough to respond!!!