It seems that there is always someone criticizing how we raise our kids. It is extremely difficult to keep a balance. How do you admonish your kids? Do you ever use corporal punishment? Does time out work for you? What I do know is that not all kids respond to just your words. There needs to be a consequence there for it to be effective.
Punishing your kids...
- Thread starter Starlight
- Start date
I personally don't believe in corporal punishment. I have been very lucky with my kids. They all have responded to time outs. In our house, we have made sure that the kids learn that there are consequences to their actions. When we tell them they are not going somewhere as punishment, we stick to it even if one of the adults need to stay home.
BG_TRBL
Watcher of the posts
For the most part, talking and time outs work for both of my kids, other times it does not. I have smacked their bottoms, and their hands, but it stops at that. I was raised by the belt and the board, and whatever else was at hand. I hold that near and dear to my heart, as it gave me an outlook that I could change. I correct my children with words first ALWAYS, only after that fails do I employ a more direct approach. Luckily I have been blessed with 2 pretty wonderful children, so rarely is the more direct approach needed.
My daughter takes time outs. She is good about it too. We tell her to stand in the hallway and put her hands on the wall. She usually has to do it for 3-5 minutes. If she cries we tell her it will last longer and she usually stops. Once in a while the wife tells her to go to bed. I'm really shocked at how well behaved she is for 2 1/2 years old, although she is starting to get more of an attitude.
Norse Master
New Member
Couldn't agree more!
I also was raised by the belt, but by an Alcoholic father who only used it when drunk. When he was sober he sat me down and talked things out, and that's what I do with my boys. As a social worker I would like to tell you I've never spanked my boys, but like you, I have smacked their butts on rare occasions. Truth is, parenting takes time and patience that many parents don't apply; hence corporal punishment, and that kind of lazy parenting is what I object to most.
Ashlar2006
Masonic Mafia
I think we've had this conversation before . I have no children but I was raised with spankings and it was a good thing . Groundings and timeouts had no affect on me . I , like my nephew and nieces , looked at them as jokes . At a very young age I figured them out , I could spend my time in the time out/grounding , no big deal , and then I could get back to doing what got me in trouble . Heck , they even gave me time to think up some more mischief I could get into . The only thing that kept me in line was spankings , my parents did not beat me but they did not spare the rod either . I had no fear of time-outs or groundings but I disliked spankings , but this is not saying I feared my parents , I have never feared them or did they drive me to cower when they were angry with me .
G
Gary
Guest
I was raised with corporal punishment. I agree with the comments that it works for some, and not for most. Same with the time out/ talking method.
Being grown with four kids of my own, only one child forced me to spank him on rare occasion. mainly due to the same reasons Ashlar described.
Teaching some kids that there are consequences for their actions is often a daunting task. My thirteen year old is still a little slow in learning that, but I think I can count on one hand the times he has ever received a swat on the behind.
Being grown with four kids of my own, only one child forced me to spank him on rare occasion. mainly due to the same reasons Ashlar described.
Teaching some kids that there are consequences for their actions is often a daunting task. My thirteen year old is still a little slow in learning that, but I think I can count on one hand the times he has ever received a swat on the behind.
Ashlar2006
Masonic Mafia
Very true Gary . Spankings are what kept me in line . I got to the point to where I would think to myself "will this get my butt busted ?" , if the answer was YES , then I refrained (but it took more than a few spankings to get that through my head) . My problem was not that I was disobedient , destroying others property etc; etc; . I was just adventurous to the point that I put my life in jeopardy , even at a very young age . Also , Living in the country miles away from the nearest kids my own age I became a daydreamer and could live in my own head so time-outs and groundings were not really a punishment , but a place I could think of new things to do , new adventures to try that I have not gotten into trouble over before . Or I could just dream up adventures for myself to keep my mind busy during time-outs and groundings .
I have noticed a couple of my nieces are the same way . Very imaginative , like I was , and during time outs I can hear them humming to themselves , they are day dreaming , so a time-out is not really a punishment for children who can live in their own minds . I could go on grand adventures in my mind during time outs/groundings , and I even put myself in what my parents called self imposed time outs to do it . I would seclude myself away in a room with no toys or games and could be happy for hours , because I have always liked my alone time even as a child . And my nieces are just like I was .
I have noticed a couple of my nieces are the same way . Very imaginative , like I was , and during time outs I can hear them humming to themselves , they are day dreaming , so a time-out is not really a punishment for children who can live in their own minds . I could go on grand adventures in my mind during time outs/groundings , and I even put myself in what my parents called self imposed time outs to do it . I would seclude myself away in a room with no toys or games and could be happy for hours , because I have always liked my alone time even as a child . And my nieces are just like I was .