Still disturbed!

L

Lawrence of Pittsburgh

New Member
While going through initiation years ago...I was involved with a woman who is the mother of my 6 year old son. We were never married or anything and she was causing a lot of strife at home during the time. But I was told to leave the young lady or marry her. I knew in my heart that I would regret marriage but due to all the chaos I didn't want to bring any shame to the lodge or to my brothers. I made the big mistake of walking out of my lodge. Out of 4 of us who were being initiated together, one was single, and 2 others ended up separating then later filing for divorce.

Long story short....now it's years later...I'm in a different city, and I miss what could have been. What steps do I need to take to become active again?
 
jaya

jaya

Active Member
Most likely you will need to contact your first lodge. If you have already received the first degree, you are still under their jurisdiction. They will be able to help you get involved with another lodge near you and have them finish the degrees for you. Above all, be upfront about your situation. It will be found out that you had joined another lodge first.
 
NZ-Freemason

NZ-Freemason

Member
I'm sorry if this seems out of place, but why should any of what took place in your personal have an impact on your lodge life? I understand that one must have his personal affairs in order but to what extent does your situation impact on your being part of a lodge... Sorry if I sound a bit behind the 8 ball, but I don't quite understand the situation...
 
Winter

Winter

I've been here before
Frankly, from what you have said, living with a woman who you had a kid with, is legal and none of the Lodges business.
 
jaya

jaya

Active Member
Why wouldn't your personal life affect your lodge life? The issue with the op is that he now wishes to continue his journey. He is just asking how to go about that.
 
Winter

Winter

I've been here before
jaya said:
Why wouldn't your personal life affect your lodge life? The issue with the op is that he now wishes to continue his journey. He is just asking how to go about that.
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Comments left by other posters explain how he can continue his journey. My comment was about the situation that caused him to leave. If I am living with a woman whom I have a child with and we are not married, THAT is none of the Lodge's business and if they don't like that they can get bent. :)
 
NZ-Freemason

NZ-Freemason

Member
Winter said:
Comments left by other posters explain how he can continue his journey. My comment was about the situation that caused him to leave. If I am living with a woman whom I have a child with and we are not married, THAT is none of the Lodge's business and if they don't like that they can get bent. :)
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My sentiments exactly...
 
Winter

Winter

I've been here before
Some jurisdictions think Freemasonry should be puritanical instead of fraternal. I've seen it firsthand and I do not agree with it. Is a man more immoral because he is living with the mother of his child and unmarried than the married man who treats his wife poorly?
 
jaya

jaya

Active Member
There are things in the code that we are not allowed to do. Some have to do with jobs we can not have or hobbies. Here it is against code to own a bar that does not serve food or be a professional gambler. It is also against our code to live with a woman out of wedlock. If we can not live with the rules, we do not have to join.
 
Winter

Winter

I've been here before
jaya said:
There are things in the code that we are not allowed to do. Some have to do with jobs we can not have or hobbies. Here it is against code to own a bar that does not serve food or be a professional gambler. It is also against our code to live with a woman out of wedlock. If we can not live with the rules, we do not have to join.
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Well then, I'll just go on the record as saying that I do not agree with that rule in your jurisdiction, Brother. (I can just imagine when it was enacted.) And I am glad that we do not have that rule in my jurisdiction.
 
jaya

jaya

Active Member
Either way if we agree with the rules or not, we obligated ourselves to follow them. If we do not like them, we can propose a change to them at the grand lodge session. Paul Drayton #7 is a lodge under the MWPHGLNC from a quick google search. I would bet their rules are more limiting than the GL of NC from the PHA brothers here that I have talked to.
 
NZ-Freemason

NZ-Freemason

Member
jaya said:
There are things in the code that we are not allowed to do. Some have to do with jobs we can not have or hobbies. Here it is against code to own a bar that does not serve food or be a professional gambler. It is also against our code to live with a woman out of wedlock. If we can not live with the rules, we do not have to join.
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Wow! I can't believe the craft has such rules in different parts of the world! Here in New Zealand, the only thing that precludes a man from joining is if they have ever been imprisoned. Even then, if an appropriate case is made, he may be able to join... I think I would have to think very hard about joining if the Grand Lodge of New Zealand has similar rules to the ones above...
 
Nathan Lunsford

Nathan Lunsford

SeeksEnlightenment
I guess my train of thought on this brothers is at the beginnings of Freemasonry for a man......you have to come of your own free will, A FREE MAN, and believe in a higher being. Wouldn't you be enslaved to a set of rules if you were to follow what you were explaining? You are still a free man and quite capable of making decisions that are right for you. he whole cable tow thing....You have to take care of yourself and your family and your brethren as long as it doesn't harm the first two. Personally I would do as has been suggested and check with your jurisdiction and see if that even applies. Sometimes things are better left unsaid and just start anew. Either way, I wish you the best and I'm glad you chose the right path rather than be a horrible husband and be absolutely unhappy. Sometimes you just have to do what is right for your future. Too many people get married because they HAVE TO.
 
jaya

jaya

Active Member
Define what it means to be a freeman. In this case, it means that you are not indentured to someone else and are free to travel. Just because you are free does not mean that there are no rules to follow.
 
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