Impressive

[removed12612]

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

 

[BukeyeJackson]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups... he pushes the Earth down.

 

[removed12612]

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris

 

[jaya]

Chuck Norris won American Idle using sign language.

Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris had a major role in Star Wars......He was the Force.

If Chuck Norris pokes you on facebook, you die.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris does not age, he levels up.

Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug. The bear is not dead, it is just afraid to move.

 

[removed12612]

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

 

[removed12612]

Chuck Norris can make a mason Grand Master at sight.....

 

[Ashlar2006]

The boogey man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris .

Chuck Norris does not beat death , he wins fair and square !

Chuck Norris does not sleep , he merely waits .

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter" .

Fireman , you must be a mind reader because I was going to start this thread today !

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris never retreats , he just attacks from a different direction .

 

[Ashlar2006]

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

 

[Ashlar2006]

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

 

[removed12612]

The boogey man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris .

Chuck Norris does not beat death , he wins fair and square !

Chuck Norris does not sleep , he merely waits .

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter" .

Fireman , you must be a mind reader because I was going to start this thread today !

Chuck Norris is working through me.....

 

[removed12612]

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

 

[removed12612]

Chuck Norris can eat rice.............................. with ONE chop stick!!!

 

[removed12612]

The only word that rhymes with orange is.......... Chuck Norris......

 

[Ashlar2006]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take s**t from anybody.

 

[Ashlar2006]

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

[removed12612]

Chuck Norris can ride a wheelie................... on a unicycle!!!

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.