Impressive

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Chuck Norris has......Jessie's Girl

 

[Ashlar2006]

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the a**, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.

This one had me in tears !

 

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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin.............. that he built with his own hands!!!!

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

 

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Chuck Norris uses Tabasco sauce for eye drops

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.

 

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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a salesman.....................over the phone!!!

 

[Ashlar2006]

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

 

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Barack Obama wrote in Chuck Norris for his vote for President

 

[Ashlar2006]

Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.

 

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When Chuck Norris crosses the street.....drivers look both ways....

 

[Ashlar2006]

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

Sorry , I could not help myself with this one !

 

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Ghost set around camp fires telling Chuck Norris stories............

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

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A cop pulled Chuck Norris over for speeding and the cop was lucky to get off with a warning....

 

[Ashlar2006]

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

 

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane!!!!

 

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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought on a bet and the looser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants....................

 

[Ashlar2006]

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

 

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When Chuck Norris pours milk into Rice Krispies..... they remain quiet